The Deal Breaker

Not that I'm assuming that anyone reading this has seen or read my Facebook Status or Tweets in the previous days, but regardless of that I'm going to elaborate, and lay out there the "Deal Breakers". We all have them. We all sometimes live by them. Of course, there's always exceptions, so these "Deal Beakers" typically fall under the "guideline" category, rather than "rules".

Sometimes our "Deal Breakers" have a tendency to be some of the things that have no rhyme nor reason. Others err on the side of obvious preservations. Either way you dice it, they are always the things, that no matter how Hott that person is, you can't get over the fact that this person falls into the category.

My "deal breakers" typically are some of the common sense listing.

I won't date a family member of a good friend.
I won't date an ex of a family member or a good friend.
I won't date an ex, again.
I try to steer clear of anyone that is under 5'6"... but that's really just for my mom, she says I need taller people.
I won't date a co-worker. Fortunately for me, I don't have a day job; and formalities of dating in my line of work are heresay. Come on now, I get the good 1st!
I won't date a salesman. I do clump marketing into the salesman category.
I won't date anyone under the age of 25.

But, these are hard to say that they're a "deal breaker". Have I ever dated anyone from any of these categories? Of course I have. Were some of these made up and listed because of a personal experience? Absolutely. Hell, I even had one ex of mine that exhibited all of the "deal breaker" rules. You can't stop yourself from what your heart desires, right? What's the saying, "some rules were made to be broken"? Go for it, it'll probably be good while it lasts.

That being said, there are a few things that are totally illogical, even to me, as to why I can't stand people that exhibit the following characteristics. No, I correct myself. It's not that I cannot stand these people, so much so that it is I have a hard time taking these people seriously enough to begin a relationship, especially a trusting relationship, when I have to doubt their taste, sanity, decision making skills and idea of acceptable social integration and behavior.

One of these illogical (to most) "deal breakers", are Mini Coopers. Yes, the little car. You may think of it as the sporty little car from The Italian Job. You may think of it in terms of one of the vehicles that characteristically defined the particular spy movie that you're watching. Do I hit you, Matt Damon, for your portrayal, or the director, or the writer? Or, perhaps, you're like me, and whenever you see this small, subsidiary of BMW, you hear the "Entrance of the Gladiators" (sometimes it's referred to as "entrance of the clowns").

I can't explain in. For some reason, the sight of these cars, with all of their qualities, that usually drive me more crazy than inspired, ignites a mild despise for the owner, and anyone fawning over the automobile. There's no logic to it. I won't own one. I don't hate the owner of the car. I don't particularly care for the company, preying on the public, and suckering them into purchasing and owning, or leasing, one of these ridiculous vehicles. However, for some reason, despite how attractive you may be, no matter how compatible I initially think that we may be, as soon as I see you open up the door to the car, or as soon as I realize that you're driving one of the Clownmobiles, I instantly see you as nothing more than a plutonic relationship at best. Though, I will never let you drive us anywhere, nor will I probably allow you to drive my car, because I now question your ability to make driving decisions in general. But, no, you have exhibited a characteristic, in which I can't really have you in my life.

 My other "deal breaker", the one that semi incited this whole tirade, are Lady Gaga fanatics. I understand that people have their opinions of music. I know that Country music, while I cannot tolerate for more than 2 minutes and 30 seconds, also happens to be the most popular genre of music in the world. Lady Gaga, the most popular searched person in 2009, has infiltrated our society with her music, and is heard, and played, literally at all minutes of the day. I know that I personally cannot walk down the street without hearing a Gaga song playing either in a car, in a store, at a restaurant or anywhere else. Some how, she is playing at all moments of the day. I do admire this achievement. She has accomplished a feat that very few can.

That being said, I don't dislike Gaga as a person. I don't dislike Gaga fans. I am tired of her music, and I would like to hear other artists, options and have more variety in my day to day life. I respect that people have their opinions towards what they want to experience artistically, and how they want to express themselves through the ambiance that surrounds them. However, I cannot stand the Gaga fans that NEED Gaga to fulfill their lives. I do not want to listen to Gaga right now. I do not love that song. I did love that song, the first 40 times I heard it, the first 3 days that it was being played in this city. But, it's been playing on cycle for the past 5 months, at a repetition of 40 times a day, and now I want to slap a small blonde child every time I hear her. Do not turn it up in my car. Do not tell me to go back to the station. Do not tell me that I will love it. I don't. Not right now I don't. Now back off. You sound just as bad as the priests a zealots that are denouncing the gay lifestyle, and are Pro Prop 8.

I am a fan of certain things myself. I love Nature's natural beauty, such as a sunset, sunrise, the sun coming down on a dark-clouded rain storm. I am a fan of specific songs, bands, performers and celebrities, just as anyone else. I absolutely would love to see Robin Williams live, but I would never miss a family event because I had tickets to see him. I know that I'll have a future opportunity to watch his performance. Maybe not live per-se, but at some point I may. My sister's wedding, my grandmother's funeral, those I should never miss for a performance by someone that is more than likely not aware of my first name.

Of course there's the obvious "Deal Breakers" out there. Nobody likes to be around an Asshole. Not the funny guy, that mocks and pokes fun at everything around, but the genuine Asshole that you just want to punch in the throat because they've now expired their right to a voice, and your air at the time. Those Bitches, similar to the asshole, only a bit more vindictive and vicious, with a tact to it that the victim may never know who their attacker was, yeah, they're not allowed around me. Cowboy up, if you're going to be mean, own it, don't cower behind some facade that you're ok to be around.

Racists, Bigots, Idiots... hmmm, I just noticed a trend there... yeah, same point. Steer clear, or pack tissues around me. You will not be tolerated. You will not be shown remorse. You had your second chance before you showed up around me.

I'd make exceptions for serial killers. I mean, they're out here, fully involved in some other people business, but not particularly any more than anyone else. Usually a serial killer will be quite the neat freak, slightly OCD in their habitual cleaning patterns. Serial Killers know what they want, are quite thoughtful and organized. Let's be honest too, while some of you see that your next Manson or Dahmer may be a bit on the excessively bad side, they are just weeding out the gene pool, and are usually described as "the nicest person/neighbor. [you would have] never thought that they could have been a killer in a million years". Even better, you know what their biggest quirk is. As long as I don't fit the description of their typical victim, I'm cool with that. But I'll draw the line at assisting. N. O.

So, what are your Deal Breakers?