By seemingly Popular Demand: Me, unabridged

In my previous posting, I had mentioned that my past, and the Adam that became Jeremy wasn't particularly glamourous nor anything that anyone really wanted to read about. I had also assumed that people were really that interested in much of what I had to say, but would rather have just kept up with me on my On-Screen antics and play-time. I have been met with enough opposition to that belief that I fully filled the "Assumption Prophecy" and made an Ass of Me. (I know that's not grammatically correct, but it goes with the joke).

I realize now that my skipping over the details of the past, also prohibits a lot of you knowing how to read my postings in their true nature, and also in especially understanding me and my mindset and motives. 

This is probably going to be a very long posting, and I apologize for that in advancement, but, since I can hold my breath for quite a while, sometimes I gotta let it all out and be long winded. 

Through previous interview and interactions you can and do see that I had grown up in Littleton, Colorado, and then spent a great deal of time in the Florida Keys working for the Boy Scouts of America before taking on the career and adventures that you all have come to know me for and by. Well, let's fill in some of the gaps, answer a few of the questions, clue you in to a few of my quirks, qualms, and personal secrets. 

We'll start off by skipping some of the mundane "I was born a poor black boy..." jokes, and all. I was born in Denver, after my parents were transfered to the city a couple months before I was born. So, for those of you that know the rivalry between Denver and (seemingly the rest of the country) Texas, I was almost a born and raised Dallas boy. Though, my parents are both from the midwest and northeast. I am a Leo, as I was born Aug 17. However, if you can, pleas let me know about the whole astrology thing, I don't understand it at all, but know that I fulfill some of the manifesto, just as I am a polar opposite of it as well. 

I was raised primarily Catholic, as my Dad had really pushed for us to follow in his family's lead with that belief system. My mother is Protestant, but is not a regular church attendee. There had been time throughout my childhood that I was tested to see if I could handle certain situations, media, pop culture and the like. For the most part, because the skeleton warriors in Willow scared the hell out of me, I was left to PG only, and typically Disney movies for quite some time. Cursing was not allowed, and after I took to the boy across the street as my best friend, and his family's devout Lutheran beliefs, there was no sexuality allowed around any of us. You could say that I was a bit sheltered from a lot, and especially since my family didn't discuss anything that could be controversial, risque or "dirty", I was left to find out about all of it on my own.

My childhood consisted of all the neighborhood mothers working out of the homes, typically for the fathers own business, or dictation for the local hospital, while all the kids "terrorized" the neighborhood. We were all kicked out after breakfast, and essentially locked out of our own homes for the rest of the day. One house a day would be the designated "Bathroom and Lunch" house for the day. However, all the kids were left to their own devices to entertain themselves. Ninja Turtles, the neighborhood pool, street ball of any sort, kid friendly games kept us all entertained. 

I grew up on the swim team, and riding my bike all around. I played T-Ball, but lost interest, as well as Soccer. I played basketball with the neighborhood kids, in our driveways, but was never interested in really being part of one of those teams. So, I guess you could say that I'm not really a "Team Player" (hmm, go figure)

My parents divorced when I was 12. I know, shocking. But, what may actually shock you a bit, is that I was ready for it and I wanted it for them. No, neither of them were drunks; in fact I'd never seen them drink except for a glass of wine with Christmas dinner only. No, there was no physical abuse. And, no, there was no infidelity. They simply were two personalities and people that didn't get along. There were fights, though more like angry debates. I knew that they weren't healthy together, and that it was a clash almost every night. I also had a handful of friends that had divorced parents, and were doing alright, so I knew that it would be a better option and household for all of us for them to divorce.

As a result, I kind of inadvertently had to grow up a bit more, and be responsible for my siblings. My little sister is 18 months younger than I am, and we got along, so she was easy. But my little brother is 4 years younger, and was ADHD. "Babysitting" them after school and during school vacations wasn't hard, but I definitely wasn't the Class clown that I had been prior. I made sure all was as it was supposed to be, relatively, and that dinner was on the table. Though, my parents were ALWAYS at dinner with us. There was no lack of parents present in our lives at all. In fact, my dad had even become more involved because of the divorce you could say. 

I did go to Littleton public schools, and was a junior that fateful day on April 20, 1999. I was at a different high school though. I knew people at Columbine, but not anyone that you would have heard of from the tragedy. 

My growing up in Littleton was not a hard one, by any means, though some people will tell me otherwise. I don't particularly think I had it easy, I had to get myself to and from school. I earned my own spending money, and had a minimal allowance. I bought my own car, and paid for all of my own activities. But, food was always provided, my family life was loving, nurturing and caring. I had to get myself through everything, and in fact, did so typically through my bicycle. That being said, I would definitely say that I was a bit naive and sheltered from a lot of life's "curve-balls". 

I joined the Boy Scouts when I was 9, as a result of my dad always telling me about the canoeing trips he used to take on the Minnesota/Canadian border. They had intrigued me enough to join a program I knew nothing about, other than that was my means of going on that adventure. Throughout my tenure as a Scout I had learned survival skills and chivalry, leadership and teamwork and I had learned about people from all over the country at camps through interactions with them, just as I had also learned to accept everyone no matter who they were. Contrary to some popular belief, there was no "Anti-" anything propaganda surrounding me or my fellow Scouts. I had never been told to dislike or not accept anyone for whoever they were, or whatever they believed in. I was told to stay away from drugs, that was it. 

I had a couple of my firsts while as a scout: My first night away from home. My first introduction to cussing being accepted. My first experience getting stoned (ironically at the Air Force Academy). It was also my first experience with pornography. I had learned quite a bit, and actually had my eyes opened, you could say, to how people lived they're lives outside of my own family and neighborhood. I was introduce, at least through conversation with my peers, as to how a lot of things were that were taboo amongst my "good" upbringing. Of course I had heard of all of the taboos and bad things, in the sense that it was told to me "Don't Do That", but actually having the conversation and hearing what everything was all about made so much more sense to me. 

I worked my way through high school as well, holding various jobs as a Subway Sandwich Artist, a Lifeguard and Swim Instructor and as a Host and Server for On the Border. I had the stresses that came with all that is high school and the petty bullshit that we thought was World Ending. My hair had started graying as a result. I stressed about girls, and grades, classes, work and things that any 17 and 18 year old kid worries about.  Of course, little did I know that I was doing everything right, just the hard way. 

I skated through high school, entering my senior year with a 1.8 GPA. No, this wasn't because I struggled with classes, though a mild dyslexia didn't help, but rather because I really hated doing the busy work that is Homework. I excelled in classes that relied on hands-on and in class tests, and bombed those that were worksheet and homework driven. I may have taken the most classes of any Senior classman my senior year, but I also had one of the highest GPA that year. Though, even I'd have slapped myself if I couldn't have excelled in Jewelry, Ceramics, Swimming, SCUBA, Weightlifting, Economics, Advanced Algebra, Keyboarding, Creative Writing and Teacher's Aid for the English Department. 

My first attempt at college was thwarted by a lack of finances. Apparently you have to pay tuition for that semester to count. Thank you AIMS Community College in Greeley, Colorado. Though, the experiences I had received from living with 10 girls in a house divided into 4 apartments, and the experience to be away from my family, whom I was semi fighting with constantly with my "I'm 18, which means a grown-ass adult, and you can't control me" mentality, was something that taught me I can survive anywhere, anytime. I literally lived off a package of spaghetti noodles for 4 month, and peanuts from Texas Roadhouse. 

After essentially being kicked out for always having trouble getting rent on time, I moved home, and went back to work at On The Border. But, come late Spring, I was given an opportunity to work as a counselor at a camp I had attended the previous summer with the Boy Scouts. Reluctantly, actually, I accepted. I had never really been that far away from home, and all of my friends, and thrown into a situation where I knew no one, nor really my surroundings. I had always lived in Colorado. I had been to Florida a couple times, but in Tampa, and barely remembered the trips. I had enjoyed the camp, as a last hurrah as a participant, and a send off to my adulthood, but I had never actually wished and hoped to work for the Scouts. 

For 4 months, I lived in the Florida Keys, on a remote island, 5 miles off shore in the Atlantic Ocean, and was introduced to 13 crews of coeds, ages 14-21 from every corner of the country. We had lived Robinson Crusoe/Lord of the Flies style, essentially. The kids were in charge, and I was there to guide them safely through the week. We fished for Dolphin (Mahi Mahi, not Flipper). we snorkeled in the 2nd most dived spot in the world. We kayaked and canoed, and cooked and camped, and loved every minute of it. On our days off the island, we were a mere half hour drive from Key West, and became quite familiar with the bars and restaurants, and the tourists. 

I had learned through the camp, that there are times to be stressed, but for the most part, you just have to go with it. Expect the Unexpected. I learned to go with it, and to not stress, and to just enjoy life. You accomplish so much more. I'm not saying that you should just give up and let everything take the course that you feel you're on, but to rather not fret about the negative. 

I had returned to the camp two years later, with a new Program Director in charge, and had learned and had so much more fun, actually pushing the kids to partake in all the available activities, as well as create their own. I had also learned one of the best quotes and mantra's to ever describe what it is that I had learned at the camp before: The Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure is Attitude. Look at the bad that's happening with a renewed vigor, and with the knowledge that it didn't work that way, and use that to make it work better the next time. You also have an easier way of dealing with people and situations when you are calm and collected, and actually kind of enjoy the chaos. Ironically, with this mindset, you get to control the chaos so much more. Try it. 

There was a lot of growing up I had done over the 8 years that I worked at and for the camp. I had also returned to Denver a few times, typically in the school year cycle. Denver during college semester, Florida for all the breaks. This typically meant I spent about half a year in each, broken up. While at the camp I had obtained my Captain's License and had taken over a bit as management. In Denver I had tried college a few more times through various schools and degrees, all failing when I decided that wasn't my calling. 

I had dated a few girls in the mean time, and actually had a few long-lasting relationships. One was a 2 year roller coaster where we officially weren't actually anything. The other, I moved her to Denver for me, after a couple years of dating on and off. I had dated older, younger, marketing and sales women, girls hooked up by friends, and watched several relationships amongst others grow, blossom, fizzle, explode, end happily ever after and anything else that you can think of. I had hit milestones, as well as watched my peers cross them, if not others. Of course my "deal breakers" list is a composite of the most common attributes that didn't work for me, or people like me in so many ways. Though, as they always say, never say never.

Throughout all of this I had kept my eyes open and learned as much as I could about everyone, not just personally, but in their upbringing and history as well. I had learned about the more liberal of people, and the more conservative. I had learned of the prejudice and the entirely accepting. I had learned to be more accepting myself, and to not always go with what I'm told. This wasn't just a "I'm a control freak, you can't tell me what to do", but just a general insight into making things easier for all around me. 

After leaving the Boy Scouts, I tried working in Radio, thinking that my love for how music controls the mood and minds of so many in whatever context you may desire, was where I was supposed to be. Unfortunately, I also discovered that when I'm caged in a cubicle and in the studio, I hate my life. I need my ambiance and my surrounding to be aesthetically appealing. Because of this, I also need my people around me to be appealing. This doesn't mean that physically they have to be a cover model, but they do have to be smiling. A smiling person is always so much more beautiful. When you're bored, upset, disgruntled or anything other than happy, that energy brings everyone down. Working with the kids at the camp, when I was dragging, and worn out, and not particularly happy, I would feign enthusiasm and energy and amp the kids up so that I could feed off that as well. 5 minutes of that for me, and they could let me ride the coattails all day long. I use the same tactics when I talk about more serious subjects, or controversial, or personal, where a lot of people hold their own beliefs, or where they have a different stance, or where they have nothing to really interject and thus become bored. My joking around, isn't to mock and make light of the situation at hand, but it is meant, with all hope, to keep you and everyone around in a lighter mood, to see everyone's opinion. 

Also, after leaving the Boy Scouts, and making the full circle, I decided that it was time that I started to shoot for goals and dreams that I had always wanted to. I had always thought about porn, so I jumped in, where I could. But, that's in several other interviews and outlets, so I won't drone on here about that. 

That really kind of brings us up to where you are now, hopefully still, watching and reading about me. I will go into details on certain parts of my life upon request. I will address more questions and personal traits. I will elaborate about certain beliefs and teachings. But, for now, this is kind of where I came from, and who I am. Yes, I had specifically mentioned that I dated girls in the past, and even in here I actually gave them a gender. Something I usually don't do. But, that's because that's what they are. My exes pre-porn days were girls. When I entered porn, and was asked about my sexual orientation, I had been quite specific about my pursuant of women. But, that was the beginning. Dating, and all it's technicalities is another novel for another time. 

On that note, I bid you all a great day. I will be posting a whole lot more in the near future. Hoping to maybe get something up once a day. 

XXXOO

Jeremy